I’ve decided to get serious about this blog o’mine. Instead of waiting for a clue as to which direction I should go…I’m going to be true to myself and be random! At first this was going to be a blog about the process of writing/publishing a novel. Then, there was this crazy little interruption this spring in the form of a cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, I decided I should blog about that. However, I’m in a holding pattern of sorts with my cancer, thank God for this. So, in light of my always unpredictable life, I’ve decided my posts should follow the same pattern. Welcome to my world.
Are there things you’re afraid of? I have a VERY long list. Topping the list is SPIDERS. I don’t even like typing the letters that form the word. I can feel them creeping onto the page and just hanging there. (Shiver.) I have high cholesterol and a family history of heart disease. So, I also fear having a heart attack. I’m kinda afraid of passing out in public, the dark, creepy movies, and merky lakes, which leads me to alligator gar! I could go on, but I’ll stop for now. I’ve been known to say things like, “I wish I knew what the future holds.” Word to the wise, don’t say this unless you’re ready for the answer!
I never ever really worried about having cancer. I mean, maybe skin cancer from my sun-worshipping days, but that’s it. Well, I know in part what my future holds. And the funny thing is I’m not really worried about the heart thing anymore. (I do still worry about spiders.)
We all have dragons in our lives. The problem is deciding what needs to be done with them. I have one hiding in a cave (my body) waiting to rise up and devour me. What this dragon doesn’t know is that I’m a dragon slayer when I need to be. I have Follicular Lymphoma, Grade One. Its a waiting game. I’ve been told it’s a very slow going game at that. It could take ten or even fifteen years before it moves to Grade Two. A lot can change in ten years. Who knows what the treatment might be by then. Maybe less destructive than chemo or radiation. I’m willing to wait, and hope, and pray for something better. But, even if the treatment in ten years is the same as today, I will not despair because I’ve been told “this is curable.” When this sleeping dragon awakes, we’ll fight fire with fire. It will be slain! Till then, I’m in training to get ready for the battle. A battle that is inevitable.
The day I received the call from the surgeon that the biopsy was positive for Lymphoma, my father said, “We have lived in fear. Now we can live in hope.” It was true. All the tests, all the waiting, all the not knowing was over. And now, we would hope. He told me this was a quote. When I asked him what it was from he said, “The Diary of Anne Frank.” Anne’s father said this as the Nazi’s were knocking on their door to arrest them. Hmm. I’m hoping for a more hopeful ending.
So, enough about slaying dragons. Tomorrow’s post is about riding them. Which, in my opinion, is a heck of a lot more fun than slaying! them. Tomorrow we’ll talk about a stone manor…not a cave!